– THE BEST RESPONSE TO THE BEAUTY PAGEANT CONTEST’S QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS –

MARGIE MORAN was asked during the 1973 Miss Universe Contest: “What’s the difference between being Miss Universe and being a Filipina?” Her reply: “Being Miss Universe is like having a birthstone, you may lose it. Being a Filipina is like having a birthmark, its forever.”

CHARLENE GONZALES was asked during the 1994 Miss Universe Contest: “How many islands are there in the Philippines?” Her reply: “High tide or low tide?”

RUFFA GUTIERREZ at the1993 Miss World Contest: “How would you tell a girl who’s suffering from low self-esteem to feel better about herself? “Her reply: “I’ll tell her to believe in herself because it’s not only physical beauty that’s important but also inner beauty. Like what the Little Prince said, “What is essential is invisible to the naked eye.” And I believe that character and personality are more important than physical beauty.”

MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ at the Bb. Pilipinas Pageant was asked by one of the judges, Rita Gomez:

RITA: Here’s your question, hija: Are you still a virgin?

MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?

RITA: Good answer!

MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma’am, are you still a virgin?

RITA: Hija, I have 5 children with 5 different fathers, and what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???

OXANA FEDOROVA (Miss Russia) at 2002 Miss Universe Contest: “What makes you blush?” Her reply: “When I say the wrong things”

MPULE KWELAGOBE (Miss Botswana) at the 1999 Miss Universe Contest and beating Miss Philippines Miriam Quiambao: “Should Miss Universe be allowed to keep her crown if she became pregnant? “Her reply: “Personally, I think it should not in any way interrupt her duties. She should be allowed to celebrate her femininity.”

SUSHMITA SEN (Miss India) at the 1994 Miss Universe Contest: “What’s the essence of being a woman? “Her reply: “Just being a woman is God’s gift. The origin of a child is a mother, a woman. Woman is sharing, she shows a man what sharing, caring, and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman.”

ANNA THERESA LICAROS at the 2007 Bb. Pilipinas Pageant: “Who are you going to choose? The crown or the lover of your life? “Her reply: “That’s a very tough question, I am being put on the spot but if I had to choose, I think I would have to choose the crown. Precisely because it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I believe that I would be able to reach out and touch more people to be of greater service, should I achieve the crown and I am very confident that my love life will be there once the crown is no longer on my head and I’ve passed it on, Thank you.”

GLORIA DIAZ at 1969 Miss Universe Contest: “If the man from the moon landed in your hometown, what would you do to entertain him? “Her reply: “I guess since he has been in the moon so long, he would enjoy anything that an ordinary man would.”

AND THE WORST ANSWERS AND COMMENTS – (here comes the crack)

MR. POGI CONTEST: (MR. PRETTY CONTEST)

Host: Ano sa mukha mo ang pinaka-asset mo? (What is your best asset in your face ?)

Contestant: Sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali! Mabait kasi ako eh. (I think my best asset in my face is my character! Because I’m kind eh.)

SHE’S GOT THE LOOK BEAUTY CONTEST:

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Ma. Rosario Liboon, I come from the beautiful city of Pangasinan City!

SHE’S GOT THE LOOK BEAUTY CONTEST:

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Carmelita Hernandez, I come from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine!

ANOTHER CONTEST:

HOST: Which do you prefer: Blonde or Dumb?

CONTESTANT: Dumb na lang, at least hindi ako mapagkakamalangblonde! (I’ll chose to be dumb, at least I won’t be mistaken as blonde!)

SUPER SIREYNA CONTEST:

Host: anong masasabi mo sa death penalty? (What can you say about death penalty?)

Contestant: Ah, ano po yun di toot por toot, eye por eye. (Ah, it’s di toot por toot, eye por eye.) * [the proverb a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye]

Host: Paki-eksplika nga? (Would you care to explain?)

Contestant: Ganito po yun: kung pinatay mo ang nanay ko, dapat, patayin ko din ang nanay mo! (Here’s how it is: if you kill my mother, I should kill your mother also!)

2002 BB. PILIPINAS BEAUTY PAGEANT:

Host: Which of the five senses can you do without?

Contestant (won’t mention the name): My eyes!

Host: Why?

Contestant: Because I’ve got beautiful and tantalizing eyes with matching sultry look.

CALENDAR GIRL BEAUTY CONTEST:

Host: What place in the Philippines would you boast about?

Calendar girl contestant: Bocaue

Host: (Intrigued) What about Bocaue? What’s in it to boast about?

Calendar girl contestant: Why, the Bocaue rice terraces of course! (Ace: She meant the famous Banaue Rice Terraces, the “8th” Wonder of the World, and btw, I grew up in Bocaue when I was young)

MISS GAY PHILIPPINES CONTEST HELD NOV 1ST:

“Magandang Tanghali po, ako po si Luzviminda Cortez mula sa Camarines Sur, sumalangit na po ang inyong mga kaluluwa!”

(Good afternoon everyone, my name is Luzviminda Cortez from Camarines Sur, may you rest in peace!)

LITTLE MISS PHILIPPINES CONTEST:

Host: Anong gusto mo paglaki mo? (What do you want to be when you grow up?)

Contestant: Maging lalaki po. (To become a man.)

MISS WORLD PHILIPPINES BEAUTY CONTEST:

Host: What do you think should a man possess to be successful?

Contestant: I think, that for a man to be successful, he should be a responsible, because if he should not be a responsible, he will not have a successful. That is all. I thank you.

BEAUTY CONTEST:

Host: Ms. Philippines, what is your best feature?

Candidate: There is one that I have at home. It’s of the majestic Rice Terraces. I believe that tourism can be uplifted by our nation by means of having a good feature taken. I believe that tourism is the key to the future, second to the children of the world who are our future which is why we have to lead the way for them, thank you.

MUTYA NG LAHI: (not sure if this is Miss Philippines in Tagalog)

Host: Candidate 10, if you were to win the title of Mutya ng Lahi tonight, to whom would you dedicate your victory?

Candidate: Well, uhm, I will dedicate my victory to, uhm well, I will dedicate my victory to myself! Because I work so hard to win. That is all, thank you.

Host: Candidate number 2, do you believe in reincarnation? If so, would you rather be reincarnated as a man or a woman?

Candidate: I want to be resurrected as a man because I like myself for who I am.

Host: Candidate number 2, are you saying you are a man?

Candidate: No, I am saying that I like being myself.

Host: So why do you want to reincarnate as a man?

Candidate: Did I say that?

Host: Yes, you did.

Candidate: Oh? Hahahha… sorry… erase, erase…I want to be resurrected as a woman pala. (I want to be resurrected as a woman, I mean)

Host: What is your stand on pre-marital sex?

Candidate: Ladies and Gentlemen, to the board of judges an English question deserves and English answer. What is my stand on pre-marital sex? Ladies and Gentlemen, that is easy. I do not stand. I kneel down and pray all the time. Thank you.

MISS UST BEAUTY PAGEANT: (*UST = University of Sto. Tomas)

Host: Candidate number 8, if you could be a fictional character, who would you be and why?

Candidate: I would be Jackie Kennedy because she is pretty like me.

Host: But Jackie Kennedy is not a fictional character.

Candidate: Talaga? Oh, well uhm… ahhh.. di si Imelda Marcos na lang. (Really? Oh, well, uhm… ahhh, I’d choose to be Imelda Marcos instead.)

Host: She is not fictional as well.

Candidate: (Perspiring and becoming tense) How about Margaret Thatcher?

Host: (Losing his patience) No, Candidate Number 8, she is not fictional either!

Candidate: (Starts to shed tears) Hay naku, ayaw ninyo naman tanggapin ang mga sagot ko! (Oh my, you won’t accept any of my answers!)

Okay, ano ba talaga ang ibig sabihin ng fictional character so I can answer your question with the right answer? (Ok, then tell me what does fictional characted mean so I can answer with the right answer?)

MISS GAY TOURISM CONTEST:

Host: If a man from Mars landed on your backyard, what would you do to entertain him?

Candidate: That is an easy question. If a man from Mars landed on my house, definitely, I will be dead by then because I will be crushed by his space ship. Therefore, I will not be able to entertain him anymore. Thank you.

And the classic of them all (remember this?)…

JANINA SAN MIGUEL at the 2008 Bb. Pilipinas Contest: “What role did your family played in your participation in this contest? “Her reply:

“Well, my family’s role for me is so important because there was the, they’re… they was the one who’s very, ha-ha; oh I’m so sorry. Ah my family, my family, oh my God, I’m, okay. I’m so sorry; I, I told you that I’m so confident; ah wait, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, uhm, sorry guys because this was really my first pageant ever. Because I’m only 17 years old, and I did not expect that I came from, I came from the one of the top 10; uhm, so, but I said that my family is the most important persons in my life. Thank you.”