Monday, April 16, 2012


I HATED HER!... she was such an embarrassment..
my mom ran a small shop at a flea market.
she collected little weeds and such to sell...
anything for the money we needed
she was such an embarressment.
there was this one day during elementary school..
it was field day, and my mom came.
i was so embarressed. how could she do this to
me? i threw her a hateful look and ran out.

the next day at school...
"your mom only has one eye?!?!" ..and they
taunted me.
i wished that my mom would just dissappear from
this world
so i said to my mom,
"mom.. why dont you have the other eye?!
if you're only gonna make me a laughingstock,
why dont you just die?!!!"
my mom did not respond..
i guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it
felt good to think that i had said what i'd wanted to
say all this time..
maybe it was because my mom hadnt punished
but i didnt think that i had hurt her feelings very

that night...
i woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass
of water.
my mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she
was afraid that she might wake me.
i took a look at her, then turned away.
because of the thing i had said to her earlier, there
was something pinching at me in the corner of my
even so, i hated my mother who was crying out of
her one eye. so i told myself that i would grow up
and become successful.
cause i hated my one-eyed mom and our
desperate poverty..

then i studied real hard.
i left my mother and came to Seoul and studied,
and got accepted in the Seoul University with all
the confidence i had.

then, i got married.
i bought a house of my own.
then i had kids, too..
now i'm living happily as a successful man.
i like it here because it's a place that doesnt
remind me of my mom.

this happiness was getting bigger and bigger,

who's this?! was my mother...
..still with her one eye.
it felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.
my little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.
and i asked her,

"who are you?!"
"i dont know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. i
screamed at her," how dare you come to my
house and scare my daughter!"


and to this, my mother quietly answered,
"oh, i'm so sorry. i may have gotten the wrong
and she dissappeared out of sight.

thank good ness... she doesnt recognize me..
i was quite relieved.

i told myself that i wasnt going to care, or think
about this for the rest of my life.
then a wave of relief came upon me...

one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came
to my house. so, lying to my wife that i was going
on a business trip, i went.
after the reunion, i went down to the old shack,
that i used to call a house...just out of curiosity

there, i found my mother fallen on the cold ground.
but i did not shed a single tear.
she had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a
letter to me.

my son...
i think my life has been long enough now..

and... i wont visit Seoul anymore...
but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you to
come visit me once in a while?
i miss you so much.. and i was so glad when i
heard you were coming for the reunion.
but i decided not to go to the school.
...for you...
and i'm sorry that i only have one eye, and i was
an embarressment for you.

you see, when you were very little, you got into
accident, and lost your eye. as a mom, i couldnt
stand watching you having to grow up with only
one eye... so i gave you mine...
i was so proud of my son that was seeing a
new world for me, in my place, with that eye. i
never upset at you for anything you did.. the
couple times that you were angry with me,.. i
thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me..'

my son... oh, my son...
i dont want you to cry for me, because of my

please dont cry....
my son, i love you so much

No comments:

Post a Comment